燃灯佛所

蛋炒饭+馄饨+2瓶啤酒+半包中南海点八+夜色，无限强化了幻灭和虚无的感觉。剧烈的饱胀并没有敦促大脑分泌引致快乐的激素，反而奇迹般的完全相反：斜靠在床上，饱食而无所事事，情绪低落，无从排解。

或者应该这么劝说自己：本就一无所有，又何必去担心会失去这个世界？我只是个不乖的孩子，眼巴巴盼着递过来的糖果，哪怕甜蜜花纸里包裹着的是颗毒药，还是心甘情愿地吞下去。因为实在再没有什么可以期待的了。脱下裤子再穿上，披上衣服再扯掉，该怎么赶走这拧笑着的家伙？

i deserve all that happens, probably coz there's nothing else belonging to me. even, how dare i stain the saint word BELONG? seems i've been looking forward to something these days, which didn't show up at all, no matter accidently or intentionally. But i did happen to get something else into my sight, trying to pretend to ignore that once again. okay that's it, in long run we all will die, with nothing left.